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Central works presents shadow crossing at the berkeley city club, 2315 durant ave., through march 26. tickets -. for more information, call 558-1381 or see centralworks . francisco, " martin quips dryly. the play has the courage to let disagreements play out, not to be blunted by false rapprochement. "when did you stop believing in this country, " emily lashes out at martin. "when did you?" martin shoots back. central works, which really is the local chamber theater for current controversies to be played out "in camera, " in newly-developed works, holds up its usual high production standards, brilliantly exploiting the playing area in the city club with gary graves' direction and the design of robert ted anderson lights ; , gregory scharpen sound ; , and tammy berlin costumes ; . the acting is of high quality, all three cast members projecting multiple and sometimes contradictory ; emotions simultaneously, widening the scope of the script. there's a little bit of technical innovation, too, that matches the occasionally fantastic touches of the script, changing the shape of the room in imagination through the use of projections, especially following the flash of martin's three-light photo set-up. "i love waiting for that split second, that flicker, when people reveal another side of the self; it's startling." taking a loaded topic like immigration, one that has no easy or foreseeable outcome, and playing out a few of its ambiguities in the form of personal consequences, is a well-realized facet of central works' mission. in a society of the descendants of immigrants, it's difficult--and not encouraged--to look at the past without sentimentalism. "men resemble their contemporaries even more than their progenitors, " emerson said. to all three of these contemporaries applies the admonition offered by a spectral voice from a buried past: "the whole world is on the move; get used to it.
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Ourselves. they could have booked to go out with some heavy drinking friends from our past or spent too much money from the joint account. we imagine their mortification when they realise that their behaviour has forced us to throw away our precious sobriety. sobriety has a way of making us feel like we can handle any situation life throws at us and we act as though the alcoholic we once were is long gone. in reality, we merely have a thin veneer of sanity, scratch us and the old behaviour is just beneath the surface. we can be suffering, but reluctant to speak out and stand up for our rights. we opt for a more dramatic gesture and justify our action by claiming that we were in so much emotional pain that we had block out the world and our thinking by taking a drink. a desire to start again i felt that i had never achieved the levels of happiness that i saw in other people's recovery. others came in after me and seemed to be able to accept the program without arguing about every tiny detail. they certainly seemed to get a better understanding of higher powers and spirituality than i ever did. i had been in aa for about six years when i had the bright idea, "go back drinking and then you can work through the program again and find out where you went wrong". i was quite pleased with this thought, because it seemed so logical and i was sure that my new sponsor would approve because it would give them the chance to guide me through the program from the beginning. we were driving back from a meeting when i tentatively suggested my good idea. he went quiet and then said, "why not skip the drinking part? we can pretend that you have already done that and we can start to work through the steps from the beginning". i immediately felt cheated of my justified "last drink" and then i felt a bit stupid for not having come up with the idea myself. i went through each of the steps again and this time it clicked. i followed the suggestions and stopped arguing about the details. finally like a light being switched on i grasped the idea of a higher power and my sobriety has been a valued gift ever since. never abandoning the belief that we "gave up" something we feel that we are recovering by "running with the hounds", but every so often, our heart desires a jaunt with the foxes. although we claim to be happy with the way we are now living, we have an underlying belief that we have accepted a second best or crippled existence. when we hear of somebody arranging to do something that we used to enjoy, such as a trip to a sporting event or a night in a jazz club, we suddenly feel left out and envious. these occasions were rarely about the actual event, but about how much alcohol we could consume and although we make a logical decision not to go along, we still feel excluded. as adolescents, many of us experienced the need to have the right label on our clothes and felt the pressure to show that we were part of the tribe. now aa awakens our urge to rebel and replaces our parents by forcing us into wearing sensible shoes. feeling excluded from the "tribe" is a powerful emotion. not drinking doesn't actually exclude us from much that life offers and contrary to our thinking: we fit in- until we drink. i grew up in one of the toughest parts of the city and i had either to be part of the gang or live in fear. although i small, i could fit in because i was bright and i could work things out. i cut the deals for the stolen cars and i held the cash to buy the drugs. i found myself in aa at early age and soon i was living a completely different life. i went to college to get an education, but when i looked for jobs, i felt that my background always held me back. i told people how i preferred my life today than where i had been heading, but inside i felt "second class" living on hand-outs. one night i met the father of one of my old friends and we started to talk. as i walked home, my mind was racing. with all my knowledge, i didn't need to drink or use drugs again and this would make me even sharper. within a week, i had made some calls and done a couple of break-ins to get some cash. within two months, i was making money and handling drugs. within six months i was using and drinking again, i flushed nine years sobriety in less than nine months. the climb back out of this pit was the hardest thing i ever did. it took me years to recover from the deceit and dishonesty and i can now see how shallow i had been in my original acceptance. unwilling to accept defeat a normal drinker doesn't understand why we would need to "surrender" to drink. for them it is merely a minor part of their entertainment. they may enjoy a nice glass of wine with a meal, or a cool beer whilst relaxing by a sunlit stream. certainly, it is pleasant, but not worth fighting a battle for. rarely have we seen. 3 of 5.
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